Thursday, December 17, 2009

Climate Change is the New Terrorism

It's 2009, eight years after international criminals slammed airplanes into World Trade Center towers, and there have been no more attacks on United States cultural icons. Fear has subsided.

What's a self-respecting totalitarian government to do? Ratchet up the fear of a new threat to humanity - Global Warming!

Totalitarian control doesn't work well in countries where the populace is at ease, complacent, happy and self-reliant. Something must be done to shake us out of our smug self-satisfaction and turn to the government for protection. What better vehicle than images of our coastal cities awash, glaciers melting and splashing majestically into a rising ocean, desert sands inundating our croplands, wild fires ravaging our forests. And the best images: hoards of dark-skinned foreigners pouring over our borders.

Climate change has something for everyone to fear. The military must be prepared for civil unrest. The Department of Agriculture must prepare for food shortages. Economists must guard against the decline of neoclassical economics. Homeland Security must strengthen our borders. And business magnates everywhere rub their hands in glee over the prospects for new marketing opportunities.

If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a conspiracy.

And it is! The Conspiracy of Perpetual Growth. The totalitarian agenda that economic growth must continue in the face of a finite world already exploited beyond the limits of replenishment. The new terrorism must be met with new Green Technologies, brought to you by Green Exxon, Beyond Petroleum, smiling Chevron. Wind generators in every village. Pocket nukes in every garage, sleek electric cars clogged in gridlock on highways demanding expansion.

It's status quo with a Green Smiley Face, the benign MacDonalds of the energy industry, promising Happy Meals for all.

Be afraid, be very afraid. Global Warming is coming.